Sunday, July 24, 2011

So Maybe I Have a Slight Phobia...

I don't really know what to write, but I feel like I have seriously failed lately in the blog department. I mean, I don't just feel like it...I definitely have failed. I just need a place to write down the plethora of random thoughts and memories swimming around in my head. So here I sit. Staring out at this little slice of heaven. A beautiful lake reflecting the sun setting on the green mountains of Coeur D'Alene, Idaho--compliments of Aunt Kendra and Uncle Michael's cabin :)

hmm...What did I blog about last? It looks like it was when I had just gotten home from school. Well, to be honest, not much has dramatically changed, but there was some excitement last week I want to make a record of.

I was at the urgent care because I had a slight sinus infection and needed some medicine to clear it up, and the doctor decided to give me a steroid shot. Now, if you know me, you know that shots and I do not agree...at all. I'm definitely a phobic. But I wasn't scared or anxious for this shot really. He gave it to me quick, I hardly felt it, and I let myself sit there for about 5 minutes just to make sure I was fine. I was patiently standing at the counter waiting to pay for my appointment and medicine, silently congratulating myself for not so much as tearing up during the shot, when the next thing I knew, I was having an out of body experience!! I heard a high pitched scream (somewhat similar to Harry Potter's experience with the dementors on the train in the third movie) and then saw someone lying sprawled on the floor choking. All of a sudden I was the one screaming and I was shouting at the nurses telling them I couldn't breathe.

Once I came to my senses and realized I was lying on the floor with someone clearly pounding a nail into my head with a giant hammer, I became quiet very quickly. I realized I must have blacked out and hit my head on something very hard (...something being the counter and the tile floor...)and the doctor was able to calm me down enough for me to listen to what had happened and be wheeled into the back room to lie down with ice on the back of my head.

Of course, this being an urgent care, they were extremely busy and there wasn't really an extra person around to tend to me so I was left in the room by myself for somewhere close to 15 minutes. I'm sure they all thought being alone in a quiet room would help me calm down and relax, but on the contrary, the isolation seemed to invoke an extreme panic attack. All of a sudden I was crying unstoppable tears about things I hadn't thought about in months. Lying there on that cold, stiff, bed with the ultimate brainfreeze from the icepack "pillow", I just wanted someone to hold my hand, my head to stop hurting, and my breathing to go back to normal. None of these things seemed likely, however, while I was left alone in the room with no one paying attention to me, thus the increased heart-rate, shallow breathing, and other symptoms of panic attacks.

Eventually, my mom made it to the office, and the doctor came in with a pink-frosted cake donut covered in sprinkles. Although I had no appetite whatsoever, this little attempt at kindness(...or raising my blood sugar...) helped miraculously. Within minutes, I felt much better and I was breathing normally again. We walked (very cautiously) to the car and made it home. Needless to say, I had a pretty uneventful weekend after that. Lots and lots of rest on the couch, painkillers, and tv.

I am almost back to 100% after my little fainting spell, just a little kink in my neck to be worked out, but overall, it is all just a laughable memory now (almost laughable, I have to admit my breathing is a little shallow just thinking about the shot and blacking out and everything...)

Well, I was going to write more of my random thoughts, but I decided this is enough for one post. Until next time!