2/10/16: All I Needed Was a Puppy This Whole Time!

I don't actually have anything of importance to say today, but I'm sitting here in the Taylor Building with a random hour in between classes and by some miracle I've already done my homework for my next class.  I wish I could just check out and waste time, but for some reason I've been feeling anxious all week, so my body won't slow down long enough to relax, so I figured I could write instead.  Active leisure, right?

I went back and read the post from a month ago and realized that my health was in a pretty bad place, so I figured I'd briefly update you all.  I finally weaned off of my Gabapentin completely and I feel like I have about 3x more energy than I've had in the last two years.  That stuff just DRAINS you!  They give it to people to help them sleep, so it makes sense, but I had no idea how badly it was affecting me!  So my fatigue is significantly better, and my night sleep has leveled out so I'm doing really well in terms of daily energy now which helps make everything easier, doesn't it?  My pelvic pain is still gone for the most part except when I ovulate or if I eat a large amount of something sugary or full of dairy.  This is just the most amazing thing.  I went to a conference that was 8-5 for 5 days straight last week and I had NO pelvic pain on any of the days.  5 Full days of sitting with no pain?!  I can't remember how long it's been since that has happened.  So I'm still incredibly grateful for the relief and I'll take the random bad pain days because it's so much more manageable than the constant chronic ache I'm used to :)  My arms and joints still get stiff and ache and burn once in a while, but they're not terrible.  I haven't used ice packs in a few weeks, and I barely even take Tylenol or Ibuprofen to manage it.  The exception is if I've been particularly active with Remus or picked him up a lot--then my arms are usually killing me.  But generally speaking, I'm doing way better than I have in a long time.

I think Remus is playing a serious role in my improved health because I noticed a huge anti-anxiety effect when we brought him home, and that just downregulates all the tension in your body, which helps with inflammation, which helps with pain.  So even though I may be more active right now than normal, the times when he's able to cuddle a little bit with me provide a huge pain and stress relief which I think balances out the increased activity.  Of course, his cuddling abilities are still in the very early stages of development because he's teething like crazy (poor guy!) and he loves to run, chase, play, and train.  He gets bored just sitting on our laps chewing something.  He always wants to be working for food or treats, haha.  But he's getting the hang of the whole "calm" thing and hopefully he'll start to even enjoy it as he gets a little older.  He's still the best puppy ever and he's growing!  He was 6 lbs when we brought him home and he's already 10.5 lbs now!!  We still take about 50 pictures a day and have to exercise some serious restraint to not post them all on social media, but we know we have to calm down eventually, so we're trying to hold back :)  He really likes Pepper and always seems to want to play with her.  She's a little more scared of him now that he isn't as shy around her, but they're getting along alright so far as long as one of us is there managing the interaction.  I don't know that he'll ever be totally trustworthy around her since he likes to chase, and she just moves really fast every time she flies, but I'm happy to see the budding friendship develop :)

Dave and I are still both going strong in school and work.  We can't wait for the three-day weekend coming up to spend some time rejuvenating and resting up for the rest of the semester.  Time seems to be flying already this year and we've been blissfully happy with Remus to come home to every day <3.  Also...we're kind of obsessed with the show Madam Secretary right now (First season's on Netflix)--SO good.

Here's some pics of my trip to Seattle, WA for my conference.  Thanks to Stella from my master's cohort for hosting me for the week!!

Medina Park in Bellevue, WA!

This was taken while driving, so forgive the horrible quality,
but the Seattle skyline!

Not the best picture, but I seriously felt like I was camping
the whole time I was in Washington, it was so
green and gorgeous everywhere!!

Broken in Baker...

So I've decided that if I try to catch the blog up linearly it'll never get done.  So I'm going to start with the last 3 days or so, because I don't want to forget the feelings and experiences we've had this weekend. (This is now almost two weeks ago...)

About a week ago Dave and I were trying to decide which day we should drive back to Provo after spending Christmas in California.  We knew it had to be Thursday or Friday because there was going to be a storm coming and we wanted to miss it.  For some reason I was having a really hard time deciding which day we should leave.  I felt like we should leave on Thursday, but I also wanted to stay the extra day with my family and enjoy California for as long as possible.  We kept putting off the decision until Wednesday when I felt pretty strongly that we needed to leave on Thursday even though I didn't really know why.  

So much in the back!!

We were hauling a bunch of old furniture my parents were giving to the kids up here in Utah in the bed of the truck.  It was loaded to its maximum capacity without a doubt (imagine Tetris with couches, chairs, and tables).  Since we left on Thursday we weren't worried about the storm hitting us because it wasn't supposed to come to Provo until Friday night, and we were planning on getting to Provo on Thursday night.  Since we were so confident in our timetable we decided to leave the furniture mostly uncovered so we wouldn't have to deal with flapping tarps for 10 hours on the road.  

About an hour into the drive (Victorville) I heard a funny noise and asked Dave about it.  Now, you have to understand that I'm the type of person that freaks out about every little noise I ever hear in a car.  Since my mind always jumps to the worst case scenario we tend to just ignore my fears when we're in the car together.  But I kept hearing the noise and asked, "Are you sure we shouldn't be worried about that?".  Dave assured me that this was just an old car and old cars have "character" in the form of weird noises.  

One hour further into the drive (just outside of Baker, now) we heard a cyclical swooshing sound that sort of sounded like a flat tire.  We definitely payed attention to this noise.  We slowed down and moved over a couple of lanes just in case, and as we were gliding to the right we heard a huge "CLUNK!" that sounded like something metal hitting the bottom of our car.  We pulled over to the shoulder and slowed to about 25 mph.  We continued to drive at this speed until we could find an exit to get off on.  The next one was Zzyzx Road so we pulled off and tried our brakes to see if it was something going on with them.  The wooshing sound became more distinct as the brakes were engaged and we thought we were zeroing in on the problem.  We wanted to see what would happen if we tried to come to a complete stop so Dave tapped the brakes once more and the car skidded to a screeching halt right in the middle of the Zzyzx Road offramp on its own.  Awesome.

At this point we were at a loss.  Either our brakes had seized on us, our transmission had died, or something else we didn't even know about was going on...We got out (in the middle of the road, mind you) and looked at the car.  You could see the black skid marks on the road from where the brakes had kicked in of their own accord.  We called our car insurance and asked for a tow which wouldn't be there for another hour and a half, unfortunately.  We then proceeded to troubleshoot the problem.  We called my parents and my grandpa who once was a mechanic in the military.  Dave and them all had a fun time trying to find the problem while cars (and SEMI-TRUCKS!!) were squeaking by us on the shoulder since our car wouldn't move forward or backward and we were literally right in the middle of the road.  woops.

It turns out Dave had worked on the car a few months ago and removed and then replaced the front right wheel.  I don't know much about cars, but I've heard the same words thrown around all weekend so I'll try to do my best to describe what happened.  The caliper in the wheel has two bolts that hold it in place and apparently these two bolts were missing on our front right wheel when Dave looked under the car so the caliper had come loose and jammed itself in the wheel well causing our wheel to get stuck and refuse to budge.

This was taken under the car behind the wheel well...

The blue stuff is the lock-tight.

At this point Dave had to admit that his workmanship was probably the culprit...a very humbling experience indeed...The bolts had been tightened to spec, but Dave just used the same bolts that he'd removed and the lock-tight which comes on new bolts was missing.  (Lock-tight is some sort of glue/thing that makes sure the bolts won't come out?)  See the picture to the side.  Anyway, without the lock-tight, the bolts will work themselves loose over time (4,000 miles to be exact...) and it seems like that's what happened to us.  Luckily, the bolts came out clean and the threads in the holes were still perfectly intact, our rim hadn't been damaged at all minus a scratch (a miracle!), nothing else was damaged in our car, and once we replaced the bolts we would be good to go.

Just to prove I was actually there...and smiling!

Poor Dave.  Or should I say "poor Dave's pride".

Look how low the back of the truck is...so scary.

So we got towed to a mechanic (the only mechanic in about a 100 mile radius) and we nervously eyed the furniture now precariously bouncing up and down while sharply angled toward the road during the entire tow-ride.  Luckily we were just 2 miles or so outside of Baker so it didn't take long to get there. 

The mechanic was really great and stayed open pretty late.  When he looked at the truck he told us our assessment had been correct and we just needed the two caliper-retaining bolts and we'd be on our way again.  We called around to all the shops in the area ("in the area" being a 100 mile radius, of course), but these bolts were specific to a '97 Ford F150 so no one had them except a Ford dealership all the way in Victorville.  They were going to close in an hour so there wouldn't be any way to get the parts until the morning. 

Aside:  At this point it had become crystal clear why I'd felt like we needed to leave on Thursday instead of Friday, and we were grateful we had.  

Good 'ole Will's Fargo Motel :)

So we looked around for a hotel (who are we kidding? Motel) and there was just one still in business.  The mechanic was really nice and drove us there since it was dark, cold, and we had to bring our big suitcases since we didn't have overnight bags or anything convenient like that.  The motel was incredibly creepy and sketchy, but it had a king bed (win!), so it could have been worse.  It was relatively clean and had a heater so I was happy.  And as a cherry on top, March of the Penguins was on CNN on the TV in the room!

We spent the evening eating dinner at Denny's forever to use up time, trying to get my hot spot to work in the motel so we could check the weather to make sure we'd still beat the storm the following day, calling my parents and convincing them that there was no need for them to drive up and come rescue us, and watching March of the Penguins.  It was actually pretty relaxing knowing that there was literally nothing we could do except rest until the next morning.

--------------------------------------------------

Come next morning I was not feeling as relaxed as the night before.  I was a little more anxious to get out of Baker and get on the road.  I was worried about the storm and didn't want to have to worry about stopping mid-drive to tarp all the furniture because the snow might ruin it.  I was also having bad feelings about how early the mechanic had told us we'd get the part that morning.  His son was supposed to be coming up from Victorville with it around 11:00am so we would be on the road by 11:15 hopefully.  

All this happened at Denny's the next
morning, mind you...

We called the Ford dealership like 5 times that morning to ask whether or not the parts had been picked up and when they hadn't been picked up by 10:30 (remember it's an hour and a half drive from the dealership to Baker still) we decided we needed to figure something else out.  Dave had the thought to ask the dealership if they might directly deliver the parts for us and so we called them yet again to ask, but they said no.  Baker was too far for it to be worth their time.  We pushed a little and told them we'd pay them for the time and gas if they could get it to us and they said, "Well, I'm not really doing anything around here, so let me ask a manager if it's okay."  He came back and told us if we'd pay $20 for the delivery he'd be on the road as soon as we hung up!  We were ecstatic!!

Turns out our motel was right across from the
famous thermometer, we couldn't see it the night
before in the dark.  

We called our mechanic and told him we were having the parts delivered directly and he didn't believe us.  He said they had never delivered before so there's no way they'd deliver 2 $10 bolts all the way to Baker.  But we had faith in the dealership :)  We headed back to our motel for a quick rest before we had to check out and then walked the mile with our suitcases and backpacks in hand down to the mechanic shop.  The parts were delivered within about 5 minutes of us getting there and our mechanic's jaw dropped as he uttered a curse word under his breath.  He actually didn't believe they were going to come until he saw it himself.  

Once we got the part, the job took a total of 5 minutes.  That was what we waited all night in Baker for.  $20 worth of parts, and 5 minutes of labor.  We checked the tire pressure, made sure our straps were secure, and we were on our way!  And only and hour and a half later than we were hoping.  If we hurried, we'd still beat the storm!

I don't know if I've ever made that drive with so few pit stops.  Who knew my bladder was so capable?!  We were very go-go-go as we were racing the storm, but we made it in time to get home and unload all the furniture into the garage before we saw any weather.  It was an absolute miracle.

On the road again, finally!! 

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Throughout the whole experience with our stay in Baker, both Dave and I couldn't help but comment on how certain we were that Heavenly Father had been watching over us.

 We were so grateful we'd left a day early so we didn't feel overly stressed about the timing of everything.  Looking back at the series of events, it makes no sense how we made it all the way to Zzyzx road if we'd been missing that bolt for 2 miles already.  We should have come to a skid in the middle of the freeway and been in a much more dangerous situation.

It doesn't even make sense that both bolts both came out so cleanly leaving the threads in perfect shape in the holes.

Our mechanic told us that we were so lucky the bolt hadn't torn a hole in our rim and we were grateful that we could drive home with just a $20 dollar fix plus labor.

The Ford dealership that would never even deliver from Barstow to Baker was willing to drop everything to deliver our parts to us from Victorville as soon as we asked them to.

Somehow we didn't hit any bad weather during the entire drive up from California to Provo.

Miraculously; none of the furniture was damaged or even scratched during the entire ordeal.  We could not believe that after all of that it was all in perfect condition.

Overall, it was yet another testament to me of Heavenly Father's love for us and how much he truly does care about each and every one of our pains and struggles.  It's been a year of a lot of physical pain and emotional struggle for me and sometimes it's easy to feel forgotten, but how could I ever deny such an explicit example of his watching over us?

Overall, we were pretty grateful to be home safe and sound after the entire ordeal, but we knew we'd been blessed with a little (a lot of) extra help :)

Paris Trauma...

Paris, France.  Romantic.  Lovely.  Quaint.  Delicious.  Eiffel Tower.  The Mona Lisa.  Are these the words and images that come to mind when you hear the word Paris?  They used to be for me, too.  But I have since decided that it only lives up to these expectations if you do Paris right.  a.k.a. In a fancy hotel, with a driver to chauffer you to all the sights, a fantastic camera  to be able to capture the most monumental sights you've ever seen, and plenty of money to spend on the ridiculously overpriced (but totally worth it) crepes.  If you do Paris wrong--a.k.a. In a sketchy cheap hotel, taking the underground everywhere, in the pouring, freezing rain with just a light jacket, and with no one to protect you but the other two girls you're with--it can be incredibly dangerous and scary.

I don't think I've ever had the experience of feeling utterly and completely hopeless and then experiencing the mercy of God and falling to my knees in gratitude--until Paris.

It started on our last day in Paris--Bastille Day.  This is the high holy day in French culture--therefore EVERYTHING is closed.  All things except the Louvre, Notre Dame, Saint Chapelle, and other famous sights, that is.  We woke up early to more pouring rain (after three consecutive days) and started on our way to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa, of course (how could you not?). We had to check out of our hotel early that morning, so we were all carrying our backpacks, side satchels, and suitcases on wheels.  We hopped on the metropolitan (underground) by our hotel after a quick breakfast of cheap fruit off the vendors on the streets--Delicious!!  (And it was a very Beauty and the Beast experience--"Bonjour!  Bonjour!  Bonjour, Bonjour, Bonjour!")  We were in high spirits as we would be returning to our beloved clean and safe London that afternoon.  (I wish I could say dry, too, but no...)  After our first stop off the metropolitan I realized I had forgotten my purse.  I turned to run back on just in time to see the doors close and watch the train speed off.  I may or may not have uttered a profanity under my breath at this point.  You see, my purse didn't just hold my makeup or loose change.  I was a classic tourist and had my passport, wallet, and camera in there as well.  Obviously my camera was not such a big deal, but it added insult to injury, and can you blame me for catastrophizing everything at that moment?

Now, I don't know if the trauma of the situation is clear yet.  See, we were in France--meaning no one speaks English, everyone hates Americans, and they have absolutely no concept of customer service.  We ran to the nearest Metro station with a lady inside.  We started gesturing and explaining, but before she listened to a full sentence she abruptly stated "Speak French."  And slammed the window shut.  At this point I completely broke into tears (I mean...uncontrollable sobs).  Without my passport I couldn't get into London that afternoon because I couldn't make it through security.  And I did NOT want to spend an extra night or two in Paris--alone.  On top of this, none of our phones worked because apparently AT&T doesn't provide service in France!  Who knew?

Anyway, once I started crying, the lady came back and started speaking to us in English (classic...) and asked what was wrong.  She checked the trains on the phone and no one had turned in a purse.  At this point she was sure to tell us that Bastille Day is the day thieves travel to Paris specifically to pick over the tourists.  She told me there was no hope and I should just begin trying to get new documents.  So we needed to find Wi-Fi to use our iMessages or Skype to get ahold of our directors in London to see if they could help us with the US Embassy.  We walked the streets of Paris searching for a cafe with Wi-Fi, but everything was closed because of Bastille Day of course.  Just my luck.  I was completely catatonic at this point but Suzette (my friend) decided we needed to stop in the middle of the street and say a prayer right then.  I believe I rolled my eyes at this point and thought something to the effect of, "Seriously?! A prayer??  Pretty sure a prayer isn't going to bring my passport and wallet back to me!  How about we just keep looking for wi-fi so we can talk to the US EMBASSY!!"  But, of course, that was all in my head, so we said the most sincere prayer we have probably uttered in our lives up to that point praying that by some miracle things would work out.  (We didn't have the gumption to ask that I'd actually get my purse back.)

We ended the prayer and I felt this incredible sense of relief wash over me.  I'll never forget it.  In such a panic, it was a 180 degree turn around.  We then calmly walked about a block and ran into a cafe with free Wi-Fi with and English speaking, wonderfully generous server who let us stay as long as we needed to figure things out.  I don't know if you can appreciate the miracle of this unless you've been to a foreign country where they really hate Americans, but running into her was a miracle in and of itself.  Not to mention the contact we could make with our instructors over Skype, her getting ahold of the American Embassy and translating with the operators for us, and her giving us contact info in case we needed her help or to come back later to use the internet again.

At this point we had eaten crepes, had water, and spoken to our instructors--we had a plan, and were feeling much better.  The embassy was closed, unfortunately, because apparently we celebrate Bastille Day (what?) even though we're American.  So I couldn't get new documents until 2 days later at the earliest.  So we were going to try to go to the EuroStar station to try to see if they'd let me back to London without my passport by any chance because I was with my study group (kind of).  We went, and it was no go.  They told me to change my ticket for 3 days later so as I went to do so, the lady opened up my ticket and said "Wait, there's a note on here.  Someone found your purse and it's at a police station..."  My jaw dropped about 3 feet and I said, "Shut Up."  She was affronted.  Woops.  She then proceeded to explain how to get to the police station while I wiped my eyes and silently prayed a million thank you prayers in my head.

We headed to the police station in the scariest part of Paris and when we got there we realized we were in seriously dangerous territory.  Homeless people were all over the streets, they followed us three well-dressed white girls like hawks as we walked very purposefully towards a the police station (in reality, we had no idea which way to go...no one spoke English!).  By some miracle we found the station and as soon as we opened the door they held up my purse and said "Eeeyyy!  We have your purse!"  I was so relieved I started sobbing again.  I just had to sit down I was so light-headed so Suzette took it from there.  She asked them how my purse had ended up there, and they said a nice couple on the metro had seen us get off that morning so they grabbed my purse and turned it in on their stop.  It was unbelievable.  In such a dangerous, dark, scary city, the honesty and good will of this kind couple will never be forgotten.  I couldn't believe it.  It was a miracle like I've never experienced.  I was so grateful for these people's honesty.  Everything was in my purse when I opened it.  Cash, credit cards, license, passport.  Everything.  In Paris.  On Bastille Day.  I have no doubt Heavenly Father had sent these people to be my angels that day.

We still had time to make it to Notre Dame, Saint Chapelle, The Louvre, and the Eiffel Tower one last time before we had to head home and it was the first day of sun in Paris.  Such an incredible ending to what could have been the worst day of my life.  I was so grateful to my loving Heavenly Father for watching over us that day.  And for forgiving my stupidity ;)

P.S.  I didn't tell Dave about this until I was safe in London and I told just about this exact rendition.  He was pale as a ghost when I finished and couldn't breathe properly for about 5 minutes after.  Luckily, he was able to overlook this crazy error on my part and still marry me :)

Once Upon a Time...

No I am not going to tell a sappy romantic love story...sorry Dave...but you know that's just not "us" right?  I was actually going to say that once upon a time I went to London!!  I studied abroad this past summer with BYU in London.  It was amazing.  Let me clarify...I am not one of those girls who is obsessed with London just because I go to BYU and I'm about 20.  I wanted to go  because I was excited about the Literature class we'd be taking while there.  I didn't go expecting my life to change, and I didn't go because I felt like my life wouldn't be complete without the experience.  Regardless of my not-so-passionate beginnings in London, it actually did end up being life-changing, but not in the way I expected at all.

I have never fully experienced the feeling that the Lord is literally providing for you in EVERYTHING in your life.  While I was in London, Paris, Wales, and Scotland, however, I couldn't go an hour or two without feeling the Lord's hand in my life undeniably.  I had some of the most spiritual experiences while pleading with the Lord for health, safety, comfort, energy, help in finding my phone the numerous times I lost it, honesty of people around me, and excitement for learning while I was abroad.  I don't know if the Lord was trying to assure me that I was in the right place doing the right things or what, but the consequences of his continual intervention in my life was just such an increased measure of trust, faith, and hope that the Lord will provide if we ask in faith.

There are so many stories--Too many for one post--so I will take my time I think over the next bit posting them.  (They're too good not to share)  I hope you can enjoy reading them at least a fraction of how much I enjoyed living them!